Words of Wisdom For Teenagers Who Are Fucking Their Schoolteacher

By Cory Alexander Haywood

There’s an epidemic spreading across the nation of mildly attractive (and occasionally smoking hot!) school teachers fucking their teenage students.

It’s an exciting time to be a kid these days, especially if you’re male and mature in appearance. 

I’m 29 years old – social media was in its infancy when I was a high-schooler, and though I’m sure there was some fucking going on between teachers and students throughout my years in grade school, we didn’t have the option of broadcasting it on Facebook or Instagram (which is beyond stupid. But I’ll get to that later). 

In other words, these illegal, yet glorious, trysts involving grown ass women and their adolescent play things, rarely if ever became public knowledge. In fact, there was a kid at Stanford Middle School, my Alma mater, who I’m certain fucked a teacher or two. Darbie Golden was a manchild – a 6’1 eighth grader with exceedingly developed muscle tone and chiseled features. I’m not gay, but he was a beautiful man…boy…or whatever…the point is that he was buff and black and according to school legend, he was fucking teachers like a pornstar.

But we didn’t know that for sure because every time we would ask him about it, the nigga just smiled and denied the rumors as if he was a slave being accused of sleeping with the master’s wife (which he probably would’ve been if he was born during that era). 

He didn’t brag and boast like these young thundercats do nowadays to impress their friends. We didn’t have cell phones, so his parents couldn’t find incriminating text messages from a horny homeroom teacher. 

And I’m not sure if MySpace existed in 2002, so Darbie couldn’t burn himself with a stupid post like, “hey guys, guess who’s fucking Ms. Davis!”

I can personally recall three teachers in middle school who I wanted to fuck desperately – Ms. Krenwinkle (a 20-something year old white woman with one of the roundest and juiciest asses I’ve ever witnessed); Ms. Sorenson – who had that “I suck dick and swallow” look to her face (incidentally she was also a white woman); and finally, Mrs. McGregor – my 8th grade math teacher – who was probably 50-years-old, but she wore skimpy bike shorts to class everyday and possessed the luscious physique of a young volleyball player (perky round ass and golden brown skin). That bitch was a pornstar in the 1970’s – I’m sure of it. 

And If you were wondering – yes (she’s Caucasian) and as you’ve probably already guessed, I attended a predominately white school (which is why I can read and write). But that’s another story for another day. 

I’ve rambled on and on about my younger years to make a point – if any one of us had been fortunate enough to get busy with a teacher, I’m positive that whoever it was would’ve kept his mouth shut (and in Darbie Golden’s case, he kept his teacher-fucking a secret). That’s the problem with young people these days – they’re always sharing their activities on social media or flapping their gums to friends. 

Who gives a shit that you drank a Pespi for lunch? Why are you little dumb fucks documenting every move you make? More importantly, only a fool would fuck up a good thing with his teacher by telling his friends about it and dropping hints on Twitter. 

It pisses my generation off every time we read a story about some kid in Iowa whose parents are suing his school because of a teacher he couldn’t keep quiet about fucking (especially if she’s attractive). 

For starters, where the fuck were these nasty bitches at when I was a young buck? And second, why doesn’t it occur to these little assholes to keep their mouths shut until graduation? 

These questions have inspired me to create a small list of do’s and dont’s for teenagers who are currently having sex with adult-aged floozies who would rather ride cock than teach a class. 

Congratulations boys! You’re living the dream. DON’T FUCK IT UP!

Rule #1
Never use your cell phone to call or text the teacher you’re fucking.

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No texting means no paper trail. Your parents can’t investigate what they can’t find. Call that ho from a pay phone.


Rule #2
Keep your relationship with her a secret until you become an adult.

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If you blab to your friends, they’ll inevitably blab to the people they know. Once the rumor spreads across campus, game over.


Rule #3
If she teaches one of your classes, keep your interaction with her to a minimum. 

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Don’t make it obvious that you’re fucking the teacher. Too much flirtation is a dead giveaway and your classmates aren’t blind.


Rule #4
Stay the fuck away from social media!

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Don’t air your business on social media for millions of people to see. It’s the fastest way to get caught and will ruin your VERY ILLEGAL affair.


Rule #5
If someone happens to see you with her, kill that motherfucker.

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This one is a joke. Unless you have the balls to do it – you don’t want “anonymous” witnesses throwing a wrench in your operation.


Rule #6
If her conscience overrides her libido and she decides to stop fucking you, don’t be a pussy and rat her out to your parents or the school principal. 

Sex-teenager-school-teacher
Don’t have a meltdown if she decides to stop fucking you. Man up and start dating girls your own age. You never know – the nasty bitch may come back (fetishes are hard to break).


Rule #7
You’ve won the sex lottery! Fuck that bitch until your underaged dick falls off (literally). 

Seriously, you’re living every young boy’s fantasy. Ride it (and her) until the wheels fall off.
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