“I Didn’t Know She Was A Tranny”: A Letter To Men Who Enjoy Having Sex With Trans Women But Don’t Have The Courage To Admit It

By Cory Alexander Haywood

The human brain is one of God’s most elaborate and fascinating creations. It controls the hand motion that pimps use to slap their hoes, and it provides the appropriate racial slurs for us to shout whenever an immigrant or a Chinese woman cuts in front of us on the freeway. 
 
More importantly, it gives heterosexual men the special ability to point out a tranny from miles away, even if she’s dropped a fortune on cosmetic surgery and can put Kylie Jenner’s makeup skills to shame. 
 
There’s no complex reason to explain why straight guys can generally tell the difference between natural-born women and the wannabes. It’s just a simple fact of life. 
 
Even Ray Charles possessed the good sense to inspect a woman’s hands and wrists before he would take her on a date. If her wrists were too wide, too rough or too meaty, then he would assume that she was either dog ugly or not really a “she.” 
 
This technique may not have always resulted in Ray going home with the prettiest dame, but it assured he wouldn’t be coozying up with another man (that’s an experience better suited for his flamboyant twin brother, Gay Charles). 
 
Yes, that was a corny ass joke – shut the fuck up and laugh.
 
There’s a reason to question any man who gets caught fooling around with a trans woman and proceeds to defend his sexuality by swearing: “I couldn’t tell the difference!” 
 
That lame excuse belongs in the same category with “officer, I didn’t see the big, red “STOP” sign, so I kept driving.”
 
A friend once tried to convince me that he was “fooled” into having sex with a transgender.
 
“She was fucking hot!” he argued.
“You mean he?” I quipped.
“Fuck you. These nightclubs don’t have enough light.”
“What about the light in your apartment?”
“I’m getting new bulbs, bro!”
“So when ‘she’ reached over to unzip your pants with her abnormally sized hands, it didn’t occur to you then that she might be a tranny?”
“I was fucking hammered! I couldn’t tell!”
“Were you also blind?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying you either weren’t paying enough attention that night, or you’re secretly gay. Do you have something to confess?”
 
For kicks and giggles, let’s give my buddy the benefit of the doubt. 
 
After all, drinking too much Whiskey can really fuck up a nigga’s ability to see shit clearly. In this condition, any object or image that would otherwise be easy to scrutinize becomes nearly impossible to see with complete clarity. So it’s possible (even plausible) that my potentially gay friend really didn’t know that he was getting freaky with a tranny.
 
“Did you check for an Adam’s Apple?” I asked.
“No.”
“How big were his feet?”
“Dude, I don’t fucking remember!”
“So how do you know it was a tranny?”
“Cause when I saw her Instagram page…”
“You mean his?”
“Fuck you, bro! When I saw his Instagram page, I noticed a bunch of weird looking shit. So I kept scrolling through his photos and I found one of when he was a free safety in high school.”
“The nigga played football!? So wait, did he tackle you?”
“FUCK YOU, BRO!”
 
I’m willing to concede that a night of excessive drinking could make it possible for any man to entertain the idea of fooling around with a highly polished tranny. 
 
Also, with how far technology has advanced over the years, thousands of natural born males across the US have been transformed into bonafide Playboy centerfolds. 
 
I’ve seen numerous ‘before and after’ pictures of grown men who’ve successfully, and convincingly, feminized themselves by snacking on estrogen pills, duplicating the mannerisms they observe from natural-born women, and of course, shelling out thousands of dollars to pay for cosmetic and gender reassignment surgery. 
 
To be honest, I’ve seen a good handful of trans-women who look considerably more attractive than most actresses in Hollywood.
 
So yes, it’s plausible that a man could be fooled into believing that he’s entertaining the presence of an authentic woman.
 
On a side note: there’s NO excuse for a trans woman (or man) to conceal his or her true identity from a prospective romantic partner. 
 
From a biological standpoint, there are several recognizable differences that easily distinguish natural born women from trans women. 
 
These attributes are innately dissimilar in size, texture, and appearance; and they don’t require a magnifying glass, florescent light, or perfect eyesight to observe. 
 
In other words, there’s not a tranny on earth who looks COMPLETELY natural. They may be harder to spot these days, but if a man searches for the right clues (ie. shoe size, hand size, jaw size, calf size, etc.) then he’ll know when something’s not right. And if he still chooses to engage, it can only mean that he’s secretly a tranny chaser.   
 
That’s why it annoys me when guys cry foul after they’ve been caught romancing a transgender. What’s the point of lying? If that’s your preference, then own it – don’t make excuses. Besides, it’s 2017 and everybody’s doing off-the-wall shit. 
 
Go ahead and get your freak on – just as long as you’re not banging a tranny who looks like this:
 
 

or this: 

or this:
 
Class dismissed
 
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